To keep things fair and neighborly, I’ve puit together some simple RULES. Please, follow to avoid any issues.
1. No grilling past 7 PM. The smell keeps me awake
2. No spicy seasonings-my child doesn’t like the smell
3. It s’m using the prill, please day aut of the yard. It’s distracting.
4. Notify me before grilling so I know to close my windows, light a candle, and mentally prepare for the trauma of barbecue smoke.
Now, I thought these were reasonable requests. After all, we live in a community. Imagine my surprise when, the very next evening, someone grilled… at 7:02 PM.
Not only that, but I caught a whiff of cumin.
And then — brace yourself — a laugh was heard. Joy. From MY backyard. As if it belonged to THEM.
So I did what any rational neighbor would do:
I printed 12 more copies of this note, laminated them, and posted them on every available tree, mailbox, and toddler-sized scooter.
That’s when it started.
The next day, someone put a sign in their window that read:
“Live. Laugh. Grill.”
Then another neighbor hosted a full-blown backyard fiesta with Mariachi music. At 7:03 PM. They served jalapeño kebabs. My child fainted at the scent.
Someone even offered me a plate.
It had cilantro on it.
Cilantro.
This is not a war I wanted…
But it is one I will win.
Tonight, I’m filing a formal HOA complaint.
Tomorrow, I’m launching a Facebook group: “Smoke-Free Yards United.”
And if this continues?
I’ll be forced to take drastic measures.
Like buying my own grill.
Warm regards,
Marsha, Unit 3B
(President, Self-Appointed Committee for Yard Peace)