You should know this…
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship — whether personal or professional. While we all want to give others the benefit of the doubt, research in psychology and behavioral science has shown that some behaviors consistently point to untrustworthiness.
1. They Avoid Eye Contact (or Overdo It)
Why it matters:
Moderate eye contact builds connection. But studies show that avoiding eye contact often correlates with deception or guilt, while excessive staring can be a manipulation tactic to appear honest.
🧠 Study: Vrij et al. (2004) found liars tend to blink less and avoid eye contact more frequently than truth-tellers.
2. They Gossip Constantly About Others
Why it matters:
If someone gossips to you, chances are, they gossip about you. Chronic gossiping reflects low integrity and a lack of respect for boundaries.
🧠 Study: Psychology research links negative gossiping with lower levels of emotional intelligence and empathy.
3. Their Words and Actions Don’t Match
Why it matters:
Consistency is key to trust. A person who regularly says one thing and does another shows signs of unreliability or manipulation.
🧠 Study: Inconsistency is a known red flag for narcissistic or deceptive personalities, according to the Journal of Personality Disorders.
4. They Play the Victim — Constantly
Why it matters:
It’s okay to seek support during tough times, but habitual victimhood often masks emotional immaturity or an unwillingness to take responsibility.
🧠 Study: A 2014 study by Gabay et al. found that people who overplay victimhood often lack empathy and may use guilt as a control tactic.
5. They Are Overly Charming Too Quickly
Why it matters:
Love-bombing or excessive praise early on can be a manipulation tactic. Genuine trust takes time, not just flattery.
🧠 Study: Overcompensation through charm is a known behavior in psychopathy traits (Jonason & Webster, 2010).
6. They Blame Everyone but Themselves
Why it matters:
Trustworthy people own their mistakes. Chronic blame-shifting is a clear sign someone lacks accountability and may gaslight others.
🧠 Study: Blame externalization is strongly associated with antisocial and narcissistic traits (APA Journal, 2015).
7. They Lack Empathy in Small Situations
Why it matters:
If someone shows little concern for others’ feelings, even in small moments (e.g., mocking someone in distress), they’re unlikely to care in bigger moments either.
🧠 Study: Low empathy is one of the top predictors of manipulative and untrustworthy behavior (Baron-Cohen, 2011).
8. They Constantly Test Your Boundaries
Why it matters:
Whether it’s invading your privacy, pushing for favors, or ignoring your “no,” people who repeatedly cross lines don’t respect your autonomy.
🧠 Study: Repeated boundary testing is common in toxic relationships and is often linked to control issues (NIH, 2020).
9. They Talk Only About Themselves
Why it matters:
Conversations should be a two-way street. If someone constantly centers everything around themselves, they may lack the capacity to care deeply about others.
🧠 Study: Self-centered speech is highly correlated with narcissistic tendencies and poor long-term relationship success.
10. Your Gut Feeling Says Something’s Off
Why it matters:
Science supports the idea of “gut instinct.” Your brain can pick up on micro-expressions, tone, and subtle behavior patterns before you consciously process them.
🧠 Study: A Princeton study found that we form impressions about trustworthiness within 100 milliseconds of seeing someone’s face — and those instincts are surprisingly accurate.
Everyone can have a bad day. But if someone consistently displays these red flags, it’s worth reconsidering how much trust you give them. Your peace of mind is too valuable to place in the hands of the wrong person.